Key takeaways
- Type 6’s primary polarity is trying not to lose support. Everything else follows from that.
- Phobic 6 tests the chair before sitting. Counter Phobic 6 kicks the chair away. Same fear underneath, opposite strategy.
- CP6 is the single most common mistype as Type 8. The behaviour looks alike, the motivation is completely different.
- At their lowest, the only door open is to Type 3 at its worst. At their highest, a door opens to Type 9 and they can finally rest.
Type 6 is looking for reliable, trustworthy support as a way to feel secure. Support meaning someone who has my back, who I can trust, who won’t let me down or lie to me. Once you see that, everything a Six does starts to make sense.
The polarity: trying not to lose support
Every type’s polarity shows a movement toward one set of qualities and away from its opposites. Like the pendulum in an old clock, the type keeps that duality swinging. When the type grows into its highest expression, the polarities collapse into natural wholeness.
Phobic 6 and Counter Phobic 6
Both share the same polarities and the same Personality Pearl. The difference is that CP6 has become disillusioned, let down too often to keep trusting. “Counter” means to speak up in opposition, and that describes the position exactly.
The metaphor we teach is a chair. Type 6 is looking for a reliable, safe chair to sit on, so they can finally rest. They test the chair, question the chair, sit tentatively, checking whether it’s still holding. That’s Phobic 6, and phobic means being in the fear. Still seeking, still securing, still wrestling between dependence and independence.
But if the chair keeps breaking, or keeps moving out from under them, the Six may make a second polarised move, away from the pain and vulnerability of their own fear. In an act of defiance, the CP6 kicks the chair away. I can’t trust anyone or anything. I’m on my own.
“I’m trying to prove to myself that I’m not afraid, but the truth is I still am.”
Secondary polarities
At lower expression
- It’s often difficult to know whether to trust or not.
- They seek to include rather than exclude, but can also divide into us and them camps.
- They want a lot of information to feel safe, rather than not knowing everything.
- They question instead of letting go.
- They find it easier to overplan than to be underprepared.
At highest expression
- Instead of only seeking to trust others, they learn to trust themselves.
- They see the wisdom in natural hierarchies, and stop polarising into us and them.
- Beyond information as safety, they find their peaceful inner knowing.
- They learn when it is wise to let something go.
- They still plan, but not in a way that paralyses action.
The Personality Pearl
Type 6 carries the InnerLifeSkills Blue Pearl: Mind, Separation, Seeking Security, Fear Continuum.
So a Six operates from the mind, from an unconscious attempt to relieve fear, and from a pull both away from and toward groups and authority at the same time. Think of the actual sensation of scanning for someone or something that would make you feel more secure. That’s the Pearl at work.
Put the Pearl together with the polarities and you have the reason behind the behaviour, not just a description of it:
- Sixes use thinking and questioning to seek trustworthy support.
- Sixes separate into us and them camps to sustain that support.
- Sixes worry about future threats and build contingency plans for security.
This is the heart of the InnerLifeSkills 8 Step Coaching Typing Test Method, where we teach coaches to use a narrative approach with the trademarked Pearls and Polarities worksheets, so a client discovers their own type rather than being told it.
Doors to growth
Picture two doorways, between Six and the two types it connects to: Nine and Three.
When a type sits at its lowest expression, the door to its opposite polarised type is closed, denying it the very qualities that would restore balance. Only one door stays open, and without balance it lets in the other type’s lower functioning.
A Six at their lowest
The door to Type 9, the polarity opposite, is closed. Everything healthy about Nine, being able to just be, letting go, relaxing, peaceful contentment, becomes hard to reach.
That leaves the door open only to Type 3 at its worst: self-worth issues, competitiveness, chameleon fakeness, concern about image, endless striving.
- At my lowest expression the only door open is to Type 3 at its worst, so I put on an image of confidence, which feels terrible because honesty matters so much to me.
- As a Type 6, when the only door open is to 3, it’s a driven anxiety that borders on workaholism.
- It’s all thinking and doing and striving, looking good, fitting in, networking, and it’s exhausting.
A Six at their highest
Now the door to Type 9 opens. Relaxation, peace, letting go when it’s needed, that uncomplicated salt-of-the-earth beingness, all become available. And with the balance restored, the door to Type 3 lets in its best: efficiency, solution focused thinking, action, big dreaming, motivation.
- At my highest expression as a Six, I feel peaceful in my skin, using my knowing and trusting myself to beat procrastination.
- As a Type 6, when I open a door to 9, I feel grounded.
- I can do more, but with less stress.
- I still question and enjoy being competitive, but now it feels like a healthy way out of overthinking.
“It’s only at my highest expression that I discover what real security is made of. That it can’t be found through the mind, or from other people’s support. It’s in my sense of self.”
Voices of Type 6
These come from our own InnerLifeSkills Enneagram coaches. If several of them make you wince in recognition, that’s data.
- I don’t want to be an authority, so I struggle in leadership roles.
- I look for ways to be fair, and I’m scanning to see if you’re being fair.
- I don’t mind working in the background. Just being useful feels good.
- My wife says I can never just let some things go.
- When people are withdrawn, I worry they’re hiding something from me.
- I find it hard to sit down and relax. My mind is always busy.
- It can be hard to trust. I’m looking for inconsistencies, and testing people.
- I demand transparency and full disclosure.
And in their own words about what drives it: I’m hoping I can trust. I want to trust, and it can make me gullible, but I’m also sceptical. I live in the paradoxes of the mind, which can make me appear hot and then suddenly cold. I’m protective of myself and of the underdogs of the world. I have a natural suspicion of authority figures, even though sometimes I’m drawn to them because I think they might protect me. I’ll defend the defenceless, and that takes real courage, because I’m quite anxious.
Commonly mistyped, especially CP6 as Type 8
Enneagram tests are limited and often unreliable, somewhere around 50 to 60% accurate. That’s exactly why we use a narrative coaching approach instead. Types share behaviours. What separates them is the Pearl, the hidden grain of sand that explains why.
The big one for Sixes: many CP6 are mistyped as Type 8. They identify with being direct, assertive and challenging. But look at the Pearl, fear, seeking security, separation, a mind centre of gravity, and the motivations could hardly be more different.
CP6 doesn’t feel powerful. They take power in order to speak for the powerless. They don’t identify with the boss, they identify with the underdog, and they champion those causes in an often aggressive way. They don’t lack compassion or seek revenge the way a lower functioning Eight can. What they do is polarise against authority and rally allies against a perceived or real abuse of power.
At their best, both 6 and CP6 speak courageously for integrity, equality, human rights, inclusive groups and transparency. At their worst, a low functioning CP6 attacks any authority they’ve aligned against, blindly, feeling morally justified while lacking wisdom, and can become a covertly destructive force.
Type 6 against every other type
| Pair | What’s shared, and what actually separates them |
|---|---|
| 1 vs 6 | Both diligent and hardworking. One does the right thing, Six is useful and of service. One follows the rules, Six may question them but follows out of fear. One can be angry and harsh, Six is afraid of aggression (except CP6). One is an anger type learning to relax, Six is a fear type learning faith in self. |
| 2 vs 6 | Both want to be helpful. Two to feel loved and appreciated, Six to be useful. Two needs acknowledgement, Six wants support but not necessarily attention. Two orientates to the most important people, Six to the underdog. Two is a self-worth type learning self-love, Six is a fear type learning faith in self. |
| 3 vs 6 | Both work diligently. Three to look successful, Six to calm the fear. Three can wing it and cut corners, Six is too anxious to. Three glances and moves, Six overthinks and procrastinates. Three is a self-worth type learning humility, Six is a fear type learning faith in self. |
| 4 vs 6 | Both feel for the broken and powerless. Four wants to be the special saviour, Six wants to champion just causes. Four needs to be special, Six needs support. Four gets stuck in wounded stories, Six can want rescuing. Four is a self-worth type learning to be ordinary, Six is a fear type learning faith in self. |
| 5 vs 6 | Both seek knowledge. Five wants deep understanding, Six wants enough information to feel secure. Five needs independence of mind, Six needs support and feedback. Five can be aloof, Six vacillates warm and cold. Both are fear types, but Five is learning engagement and confidence, Six is learning faith in self. |
| 7 vs 6 | Both sensitive to others’ pain. Six in service of fairness, Seven from a need to bring happiness. Six needs support, Seven needs freedom. Six is frightened of risk, Seven can be an adrenaline junkie. Both fear types: Six learning faith in self, Seven learning focus and contented stillness. |
| 8 vs 6 | Both loyal. Six to the underdog, Eight to loved ones and those they respect. Six needs support and feedback, Eight needs to feel strong and independent. Six can be indecisive and anxious, Eight decisive and harshly direct. Six is a fear type learning faith in self, Eight is an anger type learning compassion. |
| 9 vs 6 | Both sensitive to others. Six in favour of fairness, Nine in favour of peace. Six needs support, Nine needs harmony. Six can be anxious and untrusting, Nine chilled and going with the flow. Six is a fear type learning faith in self, Nine is an anger type learning to be assertive and present. |
Where to go next
If any of this landed uncomfortably close, that’s usually a good sign you’re in the right neighbourhood. Reading about a type is not the same as discovering yours, though, which is why we coach it rather than test it.
You can start free with the Enneagram in 90 Minutes mini course, 11 videos and case studies with no sign-up. If you want to work with this professionally, the Enneagram Coach Certification teaches the full typing method, and it counts as a module toward the Level 2 (PCC) Master Coach certification.